First Week of classes

What a wonderful week. I think for any new teacher the first week is the most tiring because of the fact that organization seems to be so far from your grasp. I have spent numerous nights working on lessons past my bedtime because i couldnt think of creative ways to follow up textbook materials. Similarily, after teaching i tutor and then after i tutor i tutor again and on some days, i tutor once more and then go work at the NAC. It gets to be a little tiring i must admit.

But i will not complain. As Dave often reminds me: "Its a blessing to work". When i didnt have work i was not terribly content and really hated sitting around doing nothing. Now i find i dont even have enough time to plan the lessons i have to teach. But i love it. I love the students and their questions. I love how many of them work so hard to improve their English... Its realy nice to be teaching.

Teaching is one of those jobs that, though you are the ones meant to be teaching, so often your students teach you. One of the men i tutor has such determination to learn how to read and speak English, I dont think i have ever seen anyone so determined. He works all day, then stays for an extra two hours of tutoring and then goes to the library for private study for another hour or so. I could learn a lot from this man. Not in learning English but what about my effort to learn about God? I dont study hard, i just read and take a brief while to comprehend it. I hope to take Ali's example and start working a lot harder. I think the harder i work the les stired i'll be because things will be organized and my heart will be right with God and focused on him more often then not.

As for my chocolate diet, I succeeded a whole week with NO chocolate and only 2 treats. That's it. I am very proud of myself and i am going to continue to watch how much chocolate i eat. But now i can eat it.

P.S. Ness, call me any time. Like Saturday evening. I'm not working.

I'm so spoiled

While i sit here at my computer i am surounded by things that make me realize just how amazing I have it. And that being only one aspect of my life: Dave.

Honestly, my desk is against a wall and the monitor is so big there is room for little else on it. And yet, Just by looking at my computer screen i am reminded of him. Beside my computer sits a printer. Dave brought this to me out of the blue because he knew i needed one. It works wonders and boy would I die without it.

In front of the printer i have placed a glass cup holding a huge bouquet of flowers from him. I know i wrote about it already but i have to mention it again because they are what triggered this post. I couldnt fit all the flowers into a vase but i didnt want to separate them either, so i placed them in one of the glasses from our kitchen. It is working very nicely. The flowers are all so colourful and match so well, and some are a kind that i have never had before. Absolutely beautiful.

Directly above my computer screen sits Dave and Katie bear on their swing. there is a picture of these guys and the swing in an earlier post so i can't really describe it... just go look for it.

So much effort was put into everyone of these things (especially the swing). Dave made the swing, he had to drive in to give me the printer, and he was sick yet bought me flowers just the same. Could a girl ask for better? I look at these things and think of how spoiled I am and how I already fail at being the same way for him. He's a special man and its sad that i am only human so am unable to be perfect. Thank the Lord that he knows that.

Psalm 51 and 1 Thessalonians 4

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."--Psalm 51:10-12

The moment I started reading this verse, the song popped into my head. I dont know how many of you know it. I just learned it at CCC in one of the years I was there.

David wrote this Psalm after commiting adultery. It speaks to everyone who sins, however, not just adulterers. When forgiveness is asked, God grants it... If out hearts are truely repentant.

In his psalm, David is pleading for things that I often ask myself: renew me, restore my joy, make me willing. Its so easy to forget that we are seen as pure in Gods sight because of Christ. We can grow embarrassed and ashamed to come to Him and admit our sins when he already knows them. But David asks for more than just forgiveness. He asks for a steadfast spirit, he asks for joy in salvation, and he asks for a willing spirit.

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, God, you will not despise."--Pslam 51:17

Here we learn what is required for repentance. If ones heart does not truely want forgiveness then God will despise the request. He did not desire sacrifices for Davids wrongs (that was mearly on outward action). God desired Davids heart to be broken for his sins. And so too it is for us. Forgiveness comes through faith in Christ and because we have asked with a broken heart. He adores humility. We are told we are made strong in our weakness and due to our sin, we should be weak all the time.

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as wek told you, so that your daily life may win respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anyone."-- 1 Thesselonians 4:11-12

This verse reminds me, once again, that at all times we are being watched. By non believers everywhere, our attitudes and actions are being monitored. If we are lazy, we are a bad witness. If we gossip, we are hypocrites. We must always be alert. Sometimes it is what we do, or do not do, that brings people to us with questions. We can be a strong witness in silence.

Comment from Dave

I didnt think I would see Dave until Sunday this week. What a pleaant surprise when he showed up at my door at about quarter to ten last night with a movie and flowers for me. He is so amazing. Even when Im sure all he wanted to do was go to bed since he has had stomach flu, he came and made me feel special. WOW!!! I tried to hug him but he wouldn't let me. He doesnt want to make me sick. I really wanted to take my chances but he wouldnt let me.

As for the chocolate strike... I failed. If you read the comments from that post, Dave left a comment that is mostly false but the eating chocolate part is true. I did not have a huge piece and it wasnt a chocolate cake. It was a chocolate chip coffee cake... pretty harmless. But I did give in to it and I must admit iIdidnt fight the temptation very hard. See, I could have eaten lemon Maringue pie which would have not been chocolate... but I figured if I was going to break my week diet thing, I would do it right.

This means I have to start over again. However, I did beat Daves 'one day' comment. I made it two and a half... but I will show him I can make a week. Thats right Dave. I will show you. From Today until next Thursday, and maybe even longer, I will not eat chocolate. I know I can do it. As for where you are found in order of importance; I'd pick you over chocolate any time. You just werent around, so I chose the chocolate.

Ultimately, I have no excuse. Im weak! what can I say? But Vanessa was right with her comments when she said I have done it before and I can do it again.

Moral of the story: Dont tell Dave when you fail. He'd never know if you didnt tell him :)

Chocolate challenge

Recently I've have noticed that I dont eat very well. I do a lot of easy stuff like craxkers, bagels, and best of all chocolate. My diet tends to consist of more sweets than decent food. I've also been gaining weight ( I judge by the way my pants fit) and I think it's about time I fix the problem.

Sunday I decided that I was going to try to go a whole week without eating chocolate. Dave laughed. He doesnt believe I could go more than one day. So, it has become a challenge for me to go at least one week without eating chocolate. And I have extended that to one whole week without eating sweets.

I am on day three and so far and I haven't failed. Last night, I even had a security guard give me a box of Smarties (not Hallowe'en size). I was so proud of myself for giving them away and not even eating one.

Maybe Dave knew I would be able to do it if he acted like he has so little faith in me... but I think he just really doesn't think I can do it. Either way I am grateful because it is working. Day three is just the start though so I have to be sure i control myself. Though, trying to prove to Dave that I can do it is motivation enough at the moment.

Some Pictures

Here is my new nephew. Is he not the most beautiful baby? Maybe its my bias but boy is he sweet.

Here is a picture of Dave and I. We we discussing the fact that both our names were on the same wedding invitation. He obviously said something funny or maybe it's just because he is there that I have such a huge smile.

Here is Dave again. He couldn't get away from Elaines picture taking so he cooperated. He was saving a seat beside him for me but i didnt realize he was saving it. I thought I would be stealing his arm rest if I sat there. It wasn't until he told me he had been saving it that I finally sat there.

Here is Caelah and Elijah having a bath and getting along. They are precious.

Finally, here we have Caleah who cuddled up with her new brother and ended up falling asleep. She no longer naps but i guess sometimes it just happens.

Life in Christ

In my devotions, I always read a chapter from the Old Testament and a chapter from the New. Today I am at Psalm fourty nine and 1 Thesselonians 2. My struggle lately has been to read Gods word and remember it. So often I read it and then when I finish, I can't remember what I read. I didnt let God teach me through his word, i just read it blankly. Today I though i should try writing down the verses that hit me and then write about those verses to remind me of what they mean. I pray it helps me get deeper into Gods word.

Psalm fourty nine is one of encouragement for the believer. Many times in life, those who trust in God face troubles that never seem to touch those who hate God. It can confuse us and sometimes even anger us. How is it that most people are successful when they hate God? WHy do they seem to be blessed when we struggle? These are questions that can enter the mind of a believer in struggle. This Psalm reminds us:

"A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish."
Psalm 49: 20

Though the wicked so often seem to have what ever they want and what we may wish we could have, they will not be able to keep any of it. They will die and 'never see the light of life' (psalm 49:19). Those redeemed by Christ know that treasures should be stored in Heaven not on Earth. They have already received the greatest gift of all. Eternal life and being brought to Him (Psalm 49:15) The wicked are sheep being led by their shepherd: death. The righteous are sheep being led by their Holy Father to light and everlasting life.

Chapter two of first Thessalonians touches on something similar. The life of a believer should never be about how we can impress or please other people. Everyrthing that we do should be done for the glory of God. We should desire to please God with our actions, thoughts and words, not people.

"We are not trying to please men but God, who tests out heart"

1 Thessalonians 2:4

I used to struggle with this lesson. And at times I still do. I think we all do. We work hard to do and say things to look good in the eyes of the poeple watching us, forgetting to think of what God might think of it. Something I say to myself ( not often enough) is, "does this make God smile?" It may sound like cheese but its true. God can smile, Im sure. And if we do something that pleases him, I like to think he would smile. Similarily, if we do something that causes him pain, he will be far from a smile. If we think pleasing men is important, how much more important is it to please God? He only cares for us like no one could and never disappoints us like all people will. We should live the way Paul writes: to please God!

Strange Dream!!!

Last night i dreamed of such unrelated and weird things. Its odd to think you collect things from within a day and then put them into your dreams. Yet last night, only some of the dream can be called for from the day. Most of it is completely random.

It started with me walking with a baby seat and Connor by my side. We crossed a busy street and had to climb under this construction contraption. I kept trying hard not to hit the baby seat against any of the metal bars but at times I failed. When I put the baby seat down, after finding a place within the consrtuction zone, my niece was sitting in it (much to old to be in a baby seat) and a part of it broke off. Caelah then told me that she was nervous to be sitting in the seat while it was breaking apart. However, the parts that broke off dont even exist on a baby seat. There was this large screw thing that some chairs have to adjust its height and then a straw holder that was tucked under the seat. Why a straw holder?

Suddenly, I was no longer with Caelah and Connor. I was in a pub that was actually a Pizza parlor. It was run by some people from the NAC. The two main characters of my dream were Stephan ( a security/head usher) and Conrad ( a newer usher). So, I went and got to eat meat lovers pizza for free but anyone else who walked into the store were not permitted any pizza. So all the Ushers were allowed to eat pizza and no one else. This one lady (I think I remember her being part of Improv. Games) asked if she could have some and Stephan looked at the half pizza and said "no, there is none left." The girl left frustrated and then someone told Stephan that Conrad was allowed some Pizza because he didn't bring a big enough lunch.

I then woke up to Dave sending me a good morning message. Im glad he did. It was a strange dream I was in.

Connor and Caelah made sense... but nothing else did. The busy street reminded me of Montreal but there wasn't much construction going on while I was there. I can't even begin to understand how our minds work.

Vile discontentedness

How is it that no matter what good happens to us we always find something else we want? Are we ever just content about our situation? Why is it that we always want more or we want things to be different?

Today I wasnt feeling well so I cancelled my tutoring. I figured it was unfair to give stomach flu to others who would do much better without it. While I was home, I got a call from the school i will be working at. They want me to supply teach this Tursday and Friday. Of course I jumped on the opportunity. Why not? But then I realized... My best friend is in town for a week and I dont think I am going to get to see her once. That is, see her alone and actually get to chat with her. All of a sudden i have what I have been asking for. Many students to tutor and a teaching job. Now, once i have it all, I am complaining in my head because it ruins the other things I want to do. How sinful!!!

I am so grateful and excited for my job. I praise God for it. But I ask forgiveness time and again because of these thoughts that are so selfish and discontented. I have been blessed with so much and yet I can still find the nerve to complain? to be unsatisfied?

I am thankful that I can see such things in my life. And I pray that I would continue to see them so that I might get control of them before they amount to much. But it is so sickning that we can act so ungrateful for such wonderful gifts. Praise God for his mercy and love. He sees us as perfect because of HIS gift: Christ.

Our sinful nature always does want more. It always wants something better. It always wants.

I met people in Africa who, as a wonderful gift to guests, offered them white bread and butter. Others, didnt even have that to offer but wished to give whatever services they had. They thanked God for giving them something to eat that day. And I can find the nerve to wish there was more time in the day? As it is, most of the time I dont know what to do with all the time I have. Its increadible the things we can make ourselves believe. THat we really need anything else. God provides us with every good thing we need. How dare I not be satisfied.

I hope to let this be an area in my life that i grow from. I want to work hard at it and to catch myself when I am in the act. The more I catch myself, the easier it will be to stop sooner. Eventually I will have a better hold on it, with God' s strength.

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; no good thing
does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."

Psalm 84: 11

A perverse disturbance

Many of us live in our own little worlds. What i mean by that is we have our friends, our families, our daily lives and the corruption that surrounds us seems very rarely to have much effect on our lives. We dont tend to witness certain things that we know exist. And because of this, our little bubbles seem safe and remain unshaken.

My bubble was shaken the other night while i was sleeping. I was woken from sleep because my phone was ringing. I answered it, because thats what you do with a ringing phone. On the other end was a man. I thought i knew him so we chatted for less then thirty second. He asked me if i was sleeping... obviously if i am talking to him i am not sleeping. Eventually i was disturbed that i had no idea who it was i was talking with so i asked who it was. I really did think i knew him and so i thought he would tell me. What followed is what shook my world. He told me i knew him and then proceeded to say " Would it turn you on if i were to tell you i was feeling myself?" I hung up. I was disturbed, embarrased, scared... and what's worse, he called back. I let it ring.

I lay awake a while trying to make the voice go away. The scariest thing was that it was familiar. I thought i knew the person. Eventually i faded into sleep and was undisturbed by it.

It only returned to haunt me while in bible study last night. i was surrounded by people who love the Lord and i realized my fear. Not only of the phone call but of what happened. I didnt want to tell anyone. I was embarrassed, like some how it was my fault. I didnt want to ask for prayer because i was ashamed. Odd, no?

I fought tears for at least 20 mins in study. As well, i was falling asleep. It was so uncomfortable. At one point, i think i did start falling asleep and i felt Dave gently rub my arm, either to revive me or something. Knowing he was there was a comfort but i still didn't want to tell anyone. Especially Dave.

I think it got pretty obvious i was upset so Jo asked something and i just had to tell her a strange man called me last night. Then my mom called and while she was speaking to my mom she was filled in on what he said to me. So, in the end i guess some people were praying for me even though i was too embarrassed to say anything.

Dave drove me home and i wasnt able to tell him what the man said. I still cant word it right without writing it down. So, i wrote.

I didnt want to close my eyes last night. i was scared that some how there was some strange man in my house. But i derived comfort from God when i just thought on him. I let him remove the thoughts of whoever it was who called me, and fill my mind with good things.

What embarrasses me is maybe it was just some loser who was playing a prank. But either way it caused me to feel as though i had been violated. My ears wanted to hear no such thing and yet they did. I had no control over it. I think i can understand how people can be abused and not tell. There is a fear that doesnt make sense and an embarrassment that shouldnt be there as well as shame.

There's a new teacher in town

To all of you who have been praying for me and thinking of me as I have had interviews and observations, I wish to extend "Thank you's" over and over again.

The Lord was faithful and heard our prayers. I was told yesturday that I would start at GEOS Language Academy in two weeks time. Praise the Lord, for He is good.

My lesson was on the use of Must, Get and Have in terms of getting things done around the house. It was not an easy lesson to make fun or non-repetitive but i did the best i could. My lesson plan was pretty good, though i gave too much time to a game, so i had to be quick on my feet to come up with a new idea to finish up the class. It was successful, though, as i said above, slightly repetitive.

At the end of the class I met with Neil (the man observing me) and we went through his comments. Then he went to talk to the manager and when he finally returned ( It seemed i was waiting forever) he told me they were pleased to have me as a teacher with their school. (The tall building in the picture there is where you would find the school. Its located on the 9th floor and is quite a nice little place.)

The moment i was told, i let Dave knew. He congratulated me and was so excited for me. I was glad that he could be as excited as i was for this job. then i went home and told my mom. I would have written here sooner but i havent had a chance. my computer was being slow and wasnt letting me get on to fill you in.

To Sylvie who was trying hard to help me find ideas, I didnt end up using the props idea because i couldnt make it work in my head. I did, however, use cards with people on them and they had to make sentences with the appropriate verb (have, get, make). Now when i think about it, i can think of a few more ideas that could have been more fun but whats done is done and the Lord blessed my stuggle and hard work, and he answered our prayers.

I think the most special thing about this whole process is the confidence I had during it. I was barely nervous for my interview because i knew i was well enducated for the position and that i had experience. Similarly, i wasnt terribly nervous about being observed by Neil. After about the first minute I forgot he was even there. I was so comfortable being in the front of the class and teaching. The students were awsome and i wish they could know how hard i tired to make grammar fun. They each got to give their opinion to Neil after i was done and they seemed to only have positive things to say.

This confidence I had was not from myself. Though i knew i was educated and possessed a lot of experience, i knew God was with me and that is where my real confidence came from. My pastor told m,e not too long ago, that anyone who would invite me for an interview would hire me because of the light that radiated from me. I thought it was sweet of him to say that but i really didnt believe it could be that easy. God has the power to work that way. I wasnt nervous, i was able to be me and when Neil hired me he said it was because i seemed like a really nice girl who liked to be in a good environment. He said he could see that i was passionate about teaching and that i would be a good team worker. My pastor was right, that shone through by simply letting me be me. And that ability to be me was an answer to prayer. I could approach God in prayer and I knew he would hear me. Not only that, but i knew he would answer me.

I read this passage today and thought it quite fitting:
"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life..." Philippians 2:14-16

The confidence I have is from Christ. I can go to God with confidence because Christ took upon his perfect self all of my sin. When he died, he paid for all sins, none of which were his.

Again, praise the Lord, oh my soul. Praise the Lord!

Reflection on Blog writing

My best friend has admitted an obsession to me that has caused the wheels in my head to turn. Her obsession is reading blogs. Now at first i thought that this sounded a little funny. But there are some really amazing ones out there. My cousins are all avid writers of blogs. And all of their blogs speak of their struggles, their joys, their faith and their families. The other ones Vanessa has shown me also deal with living a Christian life and walking the straight and narrow path. This has caused me to rethink my blog writing.

Sometimes i write about absolutely nothing, and other times i write about what happened to me on a certain day. But i feel that i dont bring my Saviour into it. I dont talk about what i am learning and struggling with. I think that is what makes a truly good blog and i think it helps one in their walk as well. If we arent honest about our short comings and our sin then we are hiding behind a mask of pride and fear. How can one help you if you dont let them know you need it?

My cousin Susanna (www.letter-rip.blogspot.com) and Maryanne (www.happyhelms.com) have wonderful blogs about their families and marriages and just life but they always bring it back to what they are learning. My cousin Tim (www.challies.com) has this amazing blog that everyone knows and he is on their writing for God. I want my blog to serve some purpose and yet... i dont know how to start or how it will be different. Im not so sure if i can make it any different. I write how i write. But i do hope to share more often what God is working my life and the blessings he is giving me.

Let me know what you think. i think i have a total of five readers ( i was wrong in my earlier post about three). I just think that if i write more about what God is doing in my life i can grow from it and it might be a blessing to others. Sometimes it hits, just how meaningless things can be when Christ is not included.

Call back

Praise the Lord who hears our prayers.

I am so excited and happy and thankful you have no idea.

I let you all know that i had a job interview. They called me back today while, i was not prepared, (i was peeing) and asked me to come for a second interview. However it isnt quite an interview. I willbe going in on Monday to observe a class being taught and to talk with the teacher. Then, Tuesday morning I will be teaching a lesson to the class i observed.

I love to teach and so i am very excited. I cant wait. Im nervous too but not too badly.

Please be praying that i am clear and fun yet still professional. I want my class to be very interactive and i want them to be very confortable. Low affective filters is the technical term.

Thanks for praying guys. Its means a lot to know i have support from others.

JOB INTERVIEW!!!

Well, i went for an interview today and it went well i think.

They asked good questions and i think i answered them all well. I always find the hardest question "why should we hire you?" but i managed to do an ok job at it. I just hate having to talk about what I am good at or praising myself. Its not a nice thing to have to do. But i managed.

Anyways, it would be a teaching position with a school called GEOS. they seem like a really awsome academy and the man who interviewed me was really quite kind. So, i guess i just wait and pray. But if you could pray with me until i hear news, it would be awsome.

Ill keep you posted ( my whole three readers)!